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The Little Cusp

We all are that little cusp floating between who we are and what we want to be.

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We become fake when one perceives us for what we want to be but actually chances to encounter with who we are

Not always we speak who we are, not because we want to lie, but we feel by speaking what we want to be will just make us that a little faster

We don’t always want to be something because it is more exciting sometimes it is just because the person who we are is nothing but a bowl of mush thrown into the electric grinder which doesn’t even make noise of it’s damage

We do believe in doing our things on our own for ourselves but we always fancy the idea of someone special doing the same for us and that’s not because we love ourselves any less but it’s the feeling to be loved could be independent

We fight sometimes because we want to protect who we are from eroding into something so fragile that would be shaken up by the easiest of winds and that process we end up becoming someone who we didn’t want to be

Sometimes we just don’t know who we are but that’s also because we don’t want to stop ourselves from evolving to become something so marvelous that it’s first sample came in the form of you

We fancy what we want to be and that keeps us alive most often because once we are happy with the way we are we would slumber in the comforter which our unconditional love for ourselves offers us

Sometimes we are this sometimes we are that. We love the person we hate the most and we curse the person we want the most, no we are not fake we are just a bundle of confused emotions dominated by our principals which will eventually give us enough strength to stick around with people whom we will hate with time and circumstances.

The only way to achieve constant is to set a few principals for ourselves and make that as the goal of who we want to be and once we are that our next goal will always be to retain those principals even though our feelings change because feelings are nothing but a bunch of hormones out at the park for a fun day and you don’t know which way they will sway

So are we our hormones? because they do decide largely what we feel for that particular instance or we are the principals which stay forever but prevent us from a new kind of life which the nature may offer to us?

We are not the adjectives the world gives us, but if we like them we tend to behave even though we aren’t that way, just to be loved a little more by others than what you love yourself today

And what we do sometimes is more because our feelings drift us on a darker shore but it is only those dark stormy nights our the light house of our character will come to our rescue and bring us back home ashore

Because. . .

We are largely a little cusp floating somewhere between who we are and what we want to be.

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To New Beginnings.. UnderTheSun :D

“Heroes are born in times of crises” said some great somebody and it truly makes sense, but hey what about the days there are no crises? Standing by the doorway waiting for a crises to shake you down doesn’t seem the most viable option right?

The thing with us humans is that we tend to push our boundaries, shock ourselves and exceed our limits when we are thrown into a situation.

Which is a good stock-photo-ancient-map-of-the-world-the-torn-scorched-edges-compass-12692464thing. Survival Mechanism.

A kickass start-up idea after having a bitch of a boss at the old job, a solo trip to somewhere beautiful after a jerk dumping you big time, a career switch after realising oh-i-spent-most-of-my-life-working-on-someone-else’s-dream, these things are all heard off and almost done to death. Even Bollywood is making movies out of it, so like they are ancient things by now, although very commendable.

But then what about those days when the sun is warm and the grass is green and everything is perfect, what do we want to do then? Probably sit with a pint of beer and succumb to the temporary perfectness around to just go with the flow?

Toiling or being restless while the breeze flowing across your face isn’t the most perfect plan for the day, right? So that’s when we lay back, loosen the shoelaces and enjoy the momentary perfectness of life which we all get in phases.

So today this fine evening when the sun is shining beautifully across the French windows of the 29th floor of my fancy office and life is seeming absolutely fine for me (touchwood) I felt like kicking off my personal blog something which I have been wanting to do for a while now. I kept procrastinating it till a time when I realized I need some motivation to start this one and decided to make ‘no motivation’ as the only motivation to get this started.

So today let’s try and do something absolutely without any motivation and absolutely without any reason. I don’t know how many readers do I have here hanging in with me yet this down the blog in the era of 160 characters, but really it’s a good feeling to do something without any reason. Making ‘No Motivation’ as the only ‘Motivation’.

So why UnderTheSun? Simple. My blog would be a window to my personality.

And I don’t like compartmentalizing my life or restricting myself to any particular genre or any particular thing. There’s just so much to love, so much to explore and so much to have opinions about so this is that space where you will pretty much find absolutely anything and everything UnderTheSun.

From latest movie reviews to throwback to some cult classics, the latest restaurant reviews to secret recipes, from heartfelt poems to crazy ass travelogues, from social ranting to just an experience which was moving, I will try my best to bring you some content here which evokes atleast something in anyone who reads it.

Keeping it short, you’ll find it all here, a little bit of me and a little bit of everything UnderTheSun 🙂

Ps – There maybe some copy errors here and there, but if you inbox me what they were, you get lots and lots of love from me and maybe a cupcake 🙂

The coolest new entrant of my ‘twenties’ life – ME TIME

One movie dialogue that echoed big time right after stepping out of college was,

‘College di gate de is taraf hum life ko nachate hai … te duji taraf life humko nachati hai..’

Well, I think a lot of us 90s kids will swear by this dialogue from Rang De Basanti, now that we’re actually attempting to live the best years of our lives in a cubicle, while dealing with a new pressure popping everyday.

Remember those times in college where amidst organizing festivals and setting up friends, we always managed to get time to attend that friend’s friend house party?

You may resonate to that bunch of mates, who were never really active in college, be it class or in the campus, but still had their days quickly vanish away?

It was pretty magical as the chaos of being somewhere, doing something every time, was not even remotely tiring or mentally exhausting.

We spent hours back then watching, no wait, FINISHING, sitcoms, series after series back to back each night and then be up the next day very charged up and resolving a silly fight.

There was nothing we wanted to miss out on, neither the fun with friends, nor the certificate giving, new-people meeting, college fests.

Even the lot who didn’t like doing this all, studied all the while and in the train had their fun time.

I remember being that overtly active kid of college, who wanted to do everything, be everywhere, play cupid, get my certis and also attempt to get a good rank. While doing all this for years, not a day felt exhausting or tiring.

But now even though the major part of our day is consumed by doing just one thing i.e. Work and no so many things like we did in college, all we want at the end of the day is peace. Silence. Solace. Pretty much least human contact of any form.

The time taken to travel home, which was usually spent earlier talking on the phone catching up with friends, or even relentless speed-texting on groups is now effortlessly replaced with ‘earphones’ or just looking out of the window as the wind gushing through your face, making you feel more alive after the claustrophobic air conditioner’s air all day.

A lot of texts go unanswered or some are answered halfheartedly, yes also because we are doing serious shit now, unlike college days, but I feel its more so because we are exhausted somewhere mentally most often.

The expectations we have from ourselves, coupled with the pressure of excelling due to the competition around and added with a dash of not knowing where we are going, gives a perfect blow, enough to tire out a brain which was not yet prepared for all this.

Earlier the chaos was external, so internally we were always connected with ourselves and so never felt the burden on our shoulders irrespective of the amount of things done in a day. Now the chaos is more within, due to which there’s barely any ‘quality time’ or ‘recharge time’ one gets with oneself.

Getting choosy about who you want to speak to at the end of a day at work, has shamelessly taken over the impromptu plans of late night drives all together.

Its imperative now, to sit back quietly and just look outside the window, thoughtless and quiet, for a while, as you get to your second home. Because the first one is officially your workplace by now.

I wasn’t too kicked about alot of these ‘cool responsible adult-like’ things that came in after work kicked in. But this ‘me time’ or ‘recharge time’ of a few minutes at night while getting back from work or anywhere, where I am all by myself, uninterested in the ‘notifications’ and ignoring the ‘mails’ unknowingly, just paying attention to nothing unabashedly and once in a while the music making its way sometime in the background is the most magical feeling ever.

The fact that we are now consciously finding ways to be with our own self a little more, a little connected to our soul a little more, looking for peace a little more and loving the nature a little more is for me ‘LIVING’ a little more 🙂

Welcome to my rickety twenties, ‘me time’!

 

 

 

Why making good money in your early 20s can be the best thing for you?

Caveat – Anyone who has a legit/serious passion and is happily pursuing it may surely want to skip the contents below. This one’s more for the ones in ‘I’m still figuring out’ or ‘I want to make it big, but I don’t know what I love the most’ zone.

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“What’s your package?”, “Consultant or an employee?”, “How much are they offering you”, “What are the perks?”, “Internship or permanent?” these were just some questions which have the supernatural power of making us feel absolutely minuscule and worthless in a span of seconds irrespective of where we were or with whom we were while the door of 20s just hit us hard on the face, even before we could get out of college.

Be it the the unending conversations after drunky sessions of revelry with homies or just awkward ‘beta aap kaha kaam kar rahe ho?’ at almost unavoidable social gatherings, its practically impossible to evade the thoughts of ‘where am I going?’ and ‘what am i doing with my life?’

and just when you try to forget all of that, saala koi na koi toh tumhare market value/net worth nikaalne aa hi jaata hai, while your’re in your early twenties.

 

If this wasn’t enough to make your ripe jawaani (not sorry for that uncouth term!) exciting, we have these movies coming in every other fri-yay telling us to live like a pauper and follow our passion, follow our heart, follow our err….

But hello, agar passion hoti in the first place toh why would we sit and waste time watching such almost same-to-same movies, we would rather be lost persuing our passion for all you know. Toh boss, what about the maximum mango people, who are ordinary AF but don’t want to remain that way? They are pretty much jacked from all the sides –

Want to make big money, friends are doing so well already, looking for happiness in everything, hating monotony and how, looking for love (validation) pretty much all the time, want to have fun always and suffering major FOMO, want to work hard and be busy, causing staying office till 4am be cool, perpetually broke, perpetually want to travel, perpetually dreaming much, tired too much, bored to soon, parents pressure always….etc etc etc

WELCOME TO 20s GUYS!!

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Now that we don’t have a solid passion and not making good money at the same time can get fatal, how about not meandering in the roads of ‘looking for happiness’ or ‘looking for passion’ or ‘waiting for enlightenment’ and getting that ass to work without getting too emotional about it?

How about starting off with something that you may not like that much, but maybe you are already good at it, instead of starting off with something you’re not that great with but you still like it. And since you’re doing something you’re good at, its very likely you will get your Vitamin M too soon, which help you keep it going to meander wherever you want to. You know it’s not that bad to get lost in a jungle looking for something, after you have already achieved something. Maybe the jungle may not be kind to you, but you always know you have something else to fall back on however comfortable it may not be.

 

Money, believe it or not, has a good enough association with happiness. No happiness, not in the sense that which car you’re driving to your work to, it’s more like a confidence booster, that I can make this much, I am worth this much and so on. It’s absolutely normal to identify our worth with how much we make for a living. Good or Bad is another issue/ Fair enough for now.

So the ones, who chose not meander into the unending tunnels looking for a ray of passion and just got their ass to work and gave in their best irrespectively of how much they hated or loved what they were doing and looked at their work more objectively than subjectively, could easily tick off that “good package” wala pressuring tag from their 20s list and could actually realize the importance of looking for the purpose of existence slightly quicker than the others.

The moment you have it, you don’t want it that badly, and then the mind clears up on its own, and the smog of money disappears, only to make way for the sunlight which could unravel the truth about you and that’s when the mind makes conscious efforts to start looking for some ‘real stuff’ and I think happiness and ‘real stuff’ are pretty much next door neighbors.

No offense to anyone but an analogy could do here – a pappu in college wanting to date that pretty chick to get his confidence booster and once he has done that, he would go out looking for something/something who stirs up his soul.

No that does not mean pretty people can’t stir up your soul. A proud feminist that I am, I totally believe pretty girls are smart, full of substance and fuck they can drive well.

Anyways.

So yes, instead of just walking around in whirlpools of frustration (if any!) why not get that money desperation out the system, by just putting yourself to work (anything you’re decent at!), and trust me once you get that cheque which pulls up your self worth sky-high, your soul will automatically drift towards the bigger and better things in life.

Sometimes, when you are clueless maybe you need that wrong but important girl/guy in your life to make you realize what uplifts that soul big time.

Sometimes you need to climb some small peaks in order to get to the highest peak, as most often it is the small peaks that block your view towards the highest peak and make the journey more frustrating and confusing. Well this worked for me atleast.

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20s may sounds manic emotionally, but it’s not as bad, as long as you keep moving 🙂

 

 

 

 

 

 

From now on – Sunday SoBo scenes at kalaghoda for the arty and fun!

Anything that kick-starts in Sobo instantly evokes an innate excitement in me, like what a child feels when he sees his mother coming home with a bag which seems to have a new toy in there.

From today i.e. 23rd October 2016, Kalaghoda Street promises to be a fun-filled and arty affair every Sunday, with more than 20 stalls depicting some niche and inventive stuff on display.

Not just that. For the ones into music, dance, cycling, skating et all the street’s a stage for you. Go there pose, click or just play it would be your perfect Sunday.

Watch out for that cute cycle stand there, which would take you back to those streets of London full of such cycle stands.

What’s a better way to cure the hangover of a drunky Saturday night, than indulging in some fun activities and promoting art?

Ps – We were in for a pleasant surprise to see Riteish in his banjo avtaar, a cute Genelia and their lil toddler gracing the commencement of this noble yet fun project on a Sunday outing.

Trading Souls 

Let’s trade some soul tonight,

Over some beer maybe a two? 
No that’s not true and we can have fun without alcohol,

But I need to lose myself to be able to find the keys to take you through the rusted guarded walls of mine.
A part of me is thirsty tonight, to explore the darkest corners of another soul and gather some souvenirs lying there in the garb of old stories untold, 

So let’s just drop the facades of being fun, young and wild and you can oblige me by taking me through some of your not so prettiest sights.

We don’t have to make it last forever let’s just start that way,

We will get attached and break each other’s hearts, oh let’s pretend it’s all done and today is our next day.
I don’t have to entertain you,

And you don’t have to excite me.

Let’s heat up the night with whatever leftover warmth we have after a bad day,

and we can unlearn to be cool just for today.

Why friend, mother, boyfriend or wife?

Let’s give each other a new name tonight.

The name we can give to that deep dark corner of your soul where you escorted me tonight.

The name which will evoke the warmth in me even when I’m freezing in cold miles away.
Let’s just not be ourselves tonight,

Because we still don’t know who we really are,

Let’s just be peaceful being nobody in this big wide universe,

Let’s just exist, without the pressure of finding out tags owho we are,

And instead to each other we could be a mirror maybe to know a little more of what we are made up of.

Purest when I flow

 

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I am like water, purest when I flow,
some decide to soak in me and some in my absence just want to wallow,
I take the shape of the vessel where I reach through,
but I am neither the vessel nor its cloak,
I’m love, purest when I flow.

I am the elixir of life,
And I can cleanse up any possible vice,
I’m needed the most when someone is low,
I’m love, purest when I flow.

What happened one day is,
I found my way into a man’s heart.
Even there I was the same love,
Of which everyone wrote stories about,
Continue reading “Purest when I flow”