The Phantom Limb – for my 2 favourite girls!

Marriages may or may not be made in heaven but they have made my life hell with my two favorite girls who are smiling as they read this being taken away from me due to their marriage.

But ofcourse as Passenger says it unfortunately right ‘You only know you love her when you let her go, so you let her go….’

Every itch which the phantom limb gives me now,
is like a little scrape into those beautiful memories we created together.

Every sensation caused by this phantom limb of mine,
still reinstates my faith in the fact that some part of you is still with me and near.

That empty space where once my limb acted strong,
helping me with everything and never let me went wrong
is taken over by miles and miles of arid land infected by the fossils of your times with me.

I didn’t know how time flew as
together we played and our memories grew,
And just when you became the quintessence of my existence,
you were taken away by your own-self to be a limb to someone else.

Your happiness succumbed my need for your existence,
and here I am today paralysed without you,
Smiling because I know you would want me to,
but the only part of me which still gets warm at the thought of you
is that limb that phantom limb,
which fancies that one day we will reunite again,
and in that hope it tingles to an extent it starts hallucinating you,
because good people become bad habits and that’s not easy to breakthrough!

And now I had to unlearn everything that I learned while I had you,
I am  new person and have to start afresh a life from scratch,
A life without my limb called you.

It’s not the same anymore, the sand castles aren’t coming out to be as tall as they use to be when you were with me.
Life goes on and I’m not allowed to stop,
But there is pain in doing everything that always required you,
but for your happiness I have now learnt that too.

F_08_Phanton-feel_fc_300_a_s-300x300

And just when I started to believe that life has been unfairest to me
by having to take you away,
it laughed at me and at that wound which was longing for you to come back
and brought you back to my life, my own limb coming back to me
But just for a day.

And now I had to unlearn everything once again,
unlearn everything that teaches me how to live without you so that I could make you feel at home once more.

And I know I will have to keep learning and unlearning how to live without you in order to actually have you,
this chaos in my head will keep my phantom limb never disappear until it finds you.

I know it’s not going to be easy to keep that wound open and not let it heal,
Only so that once in a while you can comfortably come back to me and I can live an ounce of complete life once again,
even if it is for a day,
until then I will romance with that phantom limb of yours which reminds me that I can love you the most even without having you here to stay.

Advertisements